


Flashes of Insight by Reets

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: AU, Alternate Universes, Angst, Drama, Episode Related: Rogue, M/M, Other: See Story Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:32:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suffering from partial-amnesia, Jim is Blair-less but not lover-less.  Who is that w/ Jim and just what is he up to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flashes of Insight by Reets

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: NC-17; this story contains sex between two men, if this offends you or if you're under 18, just delete now. Also there is one rape scene: not a fierce one, but still.

 

## Flashes of Insight

by Reets

 

Author's disclaimer: Pet Fly Production and Paramount own these characters. I only borrowed them to use and abuse (eg). I'll give them back, I promise.

 

Archivist's notes: This was posted to SXF in five parts from May 26th, 1997 to August 3rd, 1997.

Warning!! This is not a happily-ever-after story. In fact, it cries out for a sequel. But as I think the author has left TS fandom -- there probably won't be one. Also -- this is mostly a J/m story, not a J/B story. Just so everyone will know...

* * *

It had been a long day for Detective Jim Ellison.

Two robbery suspects had gotten away, but not before shooting a clerk at the jewelry store and knocking Jim unconscious. He swayed a little as he made it through the door to his loft apartment. A man, equal in height, walked toward him and grabbed his arm.

"Hey, are you ok?"

Jim half-smiled at the concern of his lover. Lee Brackett was tall, athletic, smart and well worth Jim's time. But today, he was exhausted. He allowed Lee to help him to the couch.

"Someone from the station called me, I came home as soon as I could. By the time I hit the city limits, they said you were already on your way home."

Jim smiled and patted his arm. "I'm ok. Just got a hell of a headache." He watched as Lee fussed around him, putting his feet up, getting him aspirin and a beer. Jim closed his eyes, seeing a smaller man, long dark curls in his face, smiling at him. He jumped when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Hey, are you listening to me?" Jim shifted and Lee sat down beside him carefully. "Are you ok?" Jim nodded and pulled the other man close. "Maybe you should get some rest."

Jim agreed and headed upstairs, climbing into the bed fully dressed and falling asleep quickly.

A while later, Lee crept up the stairs. He found it hard to be quiet as he watched Jim sleeping. Something was out of place, Jim was so distant lately. He couldn't put his finger on it. _Paranoid_ , he thought to himself. He began undressing in front of the mirror in the corner. "I'm getting old."

"No you're not." Lee turned to see his lover braced on his elbows."Come here."

He grinned and climbed onto the foot of the bed to cover Jim's body with his own. He blushed as Jim stared into his eyes as if trying to enter his soul. His breath was gone an instant later as his lover clasped his mouth to his. Tongues danced against one another, as they went about licking and biting at each other's lips. Lee broke the kiss and came up for air. Jim had so much more staying power than he did. He sat up slightly and sighed as Jim brushed the longer bangs out of his eyes and cupped his face, rubbing his thumbs across his eyelids and tracing down his cheekbones to his lips. Lee kissed the fingers, sucking lightly on each one as it slid in his mouth. Jim pulled him down and rolled, pinning him by the wrists.

Locking Lee's arms above his head, Jim nipped at the sleek skin of his neck. He smelled the mixture of Halsten, cigarette smoke, hint of soap and shampoo. Using his tongue and teeth, he licked and nipped his way lower, circling the small hard nipples, sucking each one until Lee moaned. Lower Jim went, down to the slick, smooth skin of Lee's strong muscled stomach. He tickled lightly now against the ribs as Lee arched his back to make greater contact.

Jim smiled as Lee gasped when the detective licked the head of his companion's long, slender cock. Rolling and massaging the smooth ball sack with his tongue and fingers, and taking the cock whole the next time, Jim had to hold Lee down. He knew his lover was frustrated and wouldn't last long. It had been weeks since they had made love.

Jim's mind filled once again with stray thoughts: large full lips curled over perfect white teeth, blue eyes open wide, long dark curls being pushed frantically out of the way as his orgasm approached. Jim sucked furiously now, wanting to bring his lover to release. Lee grasped at Jim's shoulders, digging fingers in, holding on for dear life.

A fist across his shoulder blade brought him around and he released the cock from his mouth. He shook his head, breathing deeply. Lee pushed him off to the side and curled at the top of the bed. "What the hell was that?" he screamed, tears running down his face.

"Oh God, I'm sorry." Jim reached up to touch him, take him in his arms. Lee pulled away. Jim scooted closer slowly now. "I'm so sorry, I zoned. Did I hurt you?"

Lee shook his head. "It's ok. I forgot about that zoning shit. Guess it's hard without a guide."

Jim clamped his eyes closed, remembering the loving face he had just seen. "Yeah, well, that's life." Jim headed downstairs, leaving Lee to gather himself.

The cool air of the Cascade fall filled the room as Jim stepped out onto the terrace. He knew Lee was behind him a few minutes later, just watching. "I keep getting these flashes, jumbled images, weird stuff." He patted Lee's arm and leaned back into the embrace.

"You never wanted to talk about this Sentinel thing. I know it's been hard without..."

Jim nodded and pulled himself to face his lover. "I was really lost until I found you."

Lee blushed and pushed Jim slightly backwards. "You hated me."

"Well, hell, yeah, but with that stunt with the Ebola virus, who wouldn't."

"I told you that you had no clue what your government was up to."

Jim pinched him on the ass as he went by. "Come in, it's getting cool."Jim watched Lee close the doors and walk toward him. His biker shorts clinging to every firm muscle in his body.

"Let's get back to these flashes you're having, can you explain the images?"

Jim shrugged and sunk into the couch. "I don't know, just a face, blue eyes. No one I know. It's strange, it's like I should know him."

"It's a guy?"

Jim laughed as Lee's jealous face took over. "Calm down darling, you're the only love in my life." He pulled Lee down between his knees and looked into his eyes. "You know how much I care about you." Jim moaned as Lee traced the outline of his erection through his slacks.

Jim eased his hips up as Lee unbuckled his slacks and slid them down. Lee began stroking and caressing his lover's long, thick cock, dipping it into his mouth, swirling his tongue, tasting the pre-ejaculate that coated his mouth now. He opened his throat, accepting as Jim's forceful thrusts filled his throat, going deeper and deeper.

Jim abruptly pushed his face away and sat there panting for a moment.

"What?"

Jim stood up, pulling Lee with him. He relieved himself of the slacks tangled around his ankles and slipped off his shirt. He relieved Lee of his shorts and nodded toward the couch. Lee knelt on the couch cushions.

Jim fumbled in the couch cushions and recovered the lube. With haste he slicked up his cock and knelt behind his lover. Lee relaxed as two fingers entered him roughly and began the process of stretching his internal muscles. He groaned at the savage pace his lover set forth. Jim was not a patient man. He braced himself now for penetration, breathing deeply as Jim pushed forward, encasing the head of his cock into his lover. The intense burning sensation made Lee cry out as Jim plunged full hilt into him.

The tight mounds of muscled ass twitched and shook as Jim plunged his cock deeper into his lover's ass. Ignoring the cry of agony, he pulled out and slammed again, this time forcing the other man's face into the cushion of the couch. The muscles formed a tight, hot, draining channel, he slowed and hovered at the entrance before slamming in again and again. He grabbed the hips, forcing himself deeper and deeper, grinding his pelvis further to gain greater access.

Lee screamed with each thrust. Jim had never been so rough. He counted the other times in his head, trying to discover what could make his lover so violent now. He squirmed and wiggled, trying to escape the pain, but Jim held tight. There was nothing he could do, but hope Jim would come soon and release him.

He danced in a golden light, tangles of dark hair circled his face, blue eyes smiling, beautiful full lips caught in a pouty face. Spices, tea, ivory soap, jungle plants, the smells overwhelmed him as he pumped his seed deep into his lover, collapsing on top of him. "I love you, Blair, oh god I love you."

Jim cringed as an elbow hit him in the chest. He untangled himself from the other man and sat back. "What the hell? Blair?" Jim straightened and looked into the face of his very angry lover.

"Lee, oh man, I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on. It's so weird."

"I don't want to hear about it." Lee took the loft steps two at a time. Jim gathered himself, dressing quickly. He headed for the door as Lee came downstairs stuffing things in a large dufflebag. "Where are you going?"

"I'm outta here, this is too crazy."

Jim grabbed his arms. "Lee don't, please, I'm sorry, I have no idea who Blair is."

"Oh that's great, you expect me to believe that? You said you loved him. You know Jim, if I wasn't enough for you... you could have said something."

"I'm not lying, Lee, I don't know why I said that. Please, could we just sit down? Talk about this?"

Lee huffed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know, this is too weird."

"Please." Jim said, looking very confused. "Please!"

Lee's shoulders slumped and he headed toward the couch.

"I know I haven't been very attentive lately, there has been so much going on at work. It's just hard to have the energy sometimes." He sat down beside his friend and took his hand. "I care about you, you know that." Lee nodded, not meeting his eyes. "You have been so great through all this, I couldn't have survived it without you. You helped me get my life back to normal after the accident. I don't knowhow I'll ever pay you back for that."

"I care about you too Jim, that's why I'm here." He stood and walked toward the terrace doors.

"But?" Jim added walking up behind him.

"But, I know now that you could never feel for me, what I feel for you."

Jim put a hand on his hip. "Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm falling in love with you." Jim spun him around and stared into his eyes. Pulling him forward into a kiss, he closed his eyes and the dark-haired man was kissing him. He pushed away abruptly, almost knocking Lee backward.

"Damn you Jim." He gathered his bag and headed for the door. Jim slumped to the couch, listening as Lee hurried down the steps to the street, started his Jeep and took off.

He stared around the room; it was so empty, so plain. The light was fading into dusk and he shivered. He closed the terrace door and started making a fire. He had to search several places for the matches. He dumped out one of the drawers in the kitchen onto the counter top. He found the matchbox in a mess of take-out menus, an assortment of tea bags and other stuff he didn't remember putting there. He shook off the odd feeling and went to light the fire.

Sitting on the floor, legs cross, he took a deep breath. He watched as the fire grew and glowed amber, orange, yellow and crimson. With the warmth spreading over his face, he closed his eyes and breathed in the hickory, spices, mint tea, and strange spicy scent. Long dark lashes closed, then opened slowly, revealing deep blue eyes that reflected his face. Soft warm silky skin brushed his lips.

He awoke with a start, standing quickly, searching the room. He tuned his hearing, trying to catch the movement of the other person in the loft. He narrowed his eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of the dark curls, reflected in the firelight. He sighed, crumbling back to the floor.

He was alone.

* * *

The red Jeep Wrangler sped down the road, turning the corner almost too quickly. Lee wiped his face. "Stupid, Stupid!" he screamed, accelerating the Jeep. A black sedan swerved, nicking the side of the Jeep. Lee recovered from the slight bump against his door and edged the Jeep to a side road and ground it to a halt. He was out of the Jeep, approaching the other car in a heartbeat. A tall man with black hair, climbed out of the sedan, meeting his stride.

"What the hell are you doing?"

His question was met with a violent slap across his cheek, sending him over the hood of the car. The other man grabbed a handful of hair and spun him around. Another smack knocked the lights out and Lee collapsed on the hood.

He awoke to find himself on a couch in the middle of a large office. His tongue tasted the blood that caked on his lip. "Damn." He wiped at it.

"So, I see you're up." Lee turned to see a rather short, gray-haired man approach him. "It's good to see you."

Lee smiled and took the hand offered him, shaking it. "This could have blown my cover, you know?"

The older man sat down beside him and patted his back. "Nah, if Ellison suspected anything he'd be here by now." Lee relaxed. "You've grown fond of your target, haven't you?"

"It's just another case sir, no big thing."

"Don't dish that BS at me, boy. I know you." The older man stood and walked toward the bar in the corner of the room. "He's taken a liking to you too, I hope."

"I think so, yes. He hasn't really said."

"Good, then you'll be staying with him now, taking a leave from the bureau. Yes?"

"Well sir, I, we had a fight..."

"Yes, I know. I was listening. How much does he remember about Blair?"

"I don't know yet sir, images I believe, that's all."

"His file never mentioned anything about them being lovers," he handed Lee a glass. "Were they?"

"I don't know, I'm beginning to believe so sir, especially after today." He downed the drink and replaced the glass. The older man's face showed his concern.

"The connection between sentinel and guide is very strong. If they bonded physically as well, then we could have problems."

"What do you want me to do?" Lee sighed heavily.

"Go back to him, find out if he has any more of these flashbacks. If he remembers, he will be a dangerous man. Keep in touch."

The man smiled and gave Lee a quick hug. "You know, Remy has missed you something fierce."

Lee smiled. "Yeah, I know," he rubbed his mouth, feeling the cut. "Real bad." Lee headed toward the door.

"Lee." He glanced back. "Don't compromise yourself, you have family to come home to." Lee nodded and left the room.

* * *

Jim awoke with a massive headache and a sore back. He had fallen asleep on the floor by the fire and not taken anything since the night before for his head. He rose slowly, climbing up the table and pushing himself off.

He heard the heartbeat before he smelled the scent: spicy, perspiration, something he almost recognized. A knock at the door brought him back to his senses. "Yeah?"

"Jim, it's me, I forgot my key."

Jim made his way to the door and opened it. He smiled as Lee offered coffee and donuts.

They sat at the table and ate while exchanging glances and grins. "I'm sorry about yesterday. Where did you go?"

"I went to see my dad." Lee said, finishing off the last donut.

"Bet he did the 'I told you so' about me. He doesn't approve of me, you know?" Jim grinned then winced, his head still aching.

"Here," Lee handed him the bottle of pain meds he had gotten filled for him. "Take two of these and you'll be feeling fine."

Jim shrugged it off. "No, I'm ok."

"Jim, come on, you're in pain, just take the shit." Lee forced the pills into his hand and handed him a glass of water."You're so stubborn sometimes."

"So, how's your dad?"

Lee cleared the cups and saucers from the table. "Same as always, still up to his ears in fish and game."

That made Jim chuckle a little.

"He asked about you?"

"And?"

"And I said you were fine, we just had a fight."

Jim nodded. "I'm sorry, it must be the Thai food I've been eating lately, giving me nightmares."

"In the daytime?"

Jim shrugged.

"So, do you remember who Blair is?" Lee asked joining Jim on the couch.

"I told you, I don't know anyone named Blair." He pulled Lee close and kissed his cheek. "Hey, what happened?" He ran a finger over Lee's mouth, feeling the small cut.

"It's nothing." He shifted so Jim couldn't see it. "How's your head?" Lee fingered the bandage on Jim's forehead.

"Don't change the sub..." Jim was cut short by the other man kissing his lips, eyes, cheeks.

"You were an animal yesterday," muttered Lee, as he tongued Jim's earlobe. Jim moaned loudly as Lee climbed into his lap, straddling his groin, wiggling and rubbing against him.

"You're insatiable." Jim pushed him off. "Upstairs."

Lee pulled him close as they made the landing, not allowing him to talk or ask more questions. Dropping to his knees in front of Jim, he unzipped the detective's jeans and slid them down his hips. Taking the willing cock into his mouth he slid his mouth the full length, opening his throat to take Jim in. So many things went through his mind: the feel of his lover's cock sliding easily down his open, willing, throat; the flashes of his father telling him not to get involved; his former lover slapping him hard and knocking him out. He was so far gone that he nearly gagged when Jim exploded into his mouth. Jim held tight to Lee's head, forcing himself further and further down his throat, his orgasm wringing a deep growl from his throat. Lee stood shakily, licking his lips and smiling. Jim pulled him into an embrace and stroked his back. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

Lee sat down on the bed, "I can handle the rough sex Jim, but if you are sleeping with this Blair guy, I gotta know."

Jim sat down beside him. "For the last time, I don't know anyone named Blair. I don't want to know anyone named Blair." He pushed Lee flat, climbing half on top of him. "I only want you and you are way over-dressed."

Jim began by unbuttoning Lee's shirt, very slowly, listening to the slight sighs and moans as Lee wiggled beneath his touch. He covered Lee's chest with light, almost breath-only, kisses. Jim paused in the removal the rest of Lee's clothes and enjoyed the reaction of his lover as he ran his fingertips lightly along Lee's rib cage, down to his stomach, chasing the line of blond-ish-red hair from his belly button to his public hair. Jim grinned. Lee was shaking as he lifted his hips and Jim slid the tight jeans from his ass and thighs. Jim paused to kiss every inch of skin .Lee was trembling visibly now, his cock head wet with pre-cum. He whimpered as Jim took him into his mouth. He was sore from yesterday. Never had anyone sucked him so hard for so long. Jim could be a demanding lover, but nothing compared to what had happened yesterday. He clutched at the bed covers as his orgasm neared. He pushed his sore, aching cock deeper into Jim's throat. He came soon after, feeling the tension, confusion, anger and regret flow from him in great spurts. Jim tugged him up further on the bed and gently turned him over.

Lee snuggled against the coolness of sheets. Jim covered him with a blanket and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to take a shower, you sleep."

"Hmmmm," Lee smiled at the warm breath against his cheek, then fell asleep.

Jim showered and changed. He felt better, but his head still hurt. He grabbed the prescription bottle and read it. "Two every 6 hours for pain." He shrugged. "Still have hours before I can take more. What's wrong with my head?" He made it to the couch and sat down. "Breathe, Jim," he said, making his mind relax."Deep cleansing breath, relax, breath, relax." There was a warm breath against his skin, a tea and spice scent surrounded him. The pain dissipated and he slipped into another place.

A train clicked above him as he suspended himself beneath, hanging on for dear life. "Disconnect the light, zone it out, listen to the music." He stared into the dark-haired man's face, and observed the thin-rimmed glasses, the vivid blue eyes, and dark curls caressing the cheeks.

He eased awake and sat up, remembering the face in his dream more vividly now. He raced upstairs to find Lee still sleeping. "Hey babe, listen..."

Lee turned over sleepily and stared at him. "What?"

"I'm going to the station, have a lot of stuff to get done." He dressed quickly and headed downstairs.

"Jim, you're off, remember?"

Jim stopped, his mind searching for an answer he thought Lee would believe."Yeah, but the Captain called, said he had a lead on the bank robbers. I need to go look at the mug shots. I'll be back later, bring you breakfast. OK?"

Lee trudged down the stairs in Jim's robe and strode over to him, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Make it quick, I've taken the week off to be with you." With that, he planted a hard kiss on Jim's lips. Jim kissed him quick and hit the door. The nagging feeling that something was wrong followed him all the way down to the station. He headed for the forensics lab.

A tall red-headed woman greeted him with a smile. "Hi Jim, how's it going?"

He smiled back and shook her hand. "Well, Leslie, I have a problem and I need to get someone to make a sketch for me."

Leslie nodded, "I can do that."

"Great, I knew you could."Jim sat down where Leslie led him and closed his eyes. He recounted the memories to her, outlining the details of the face that kept flashing before his eyes: blue eyes, almost ethnic face, side burns, a happy expression.

She finished the sketch and handed it to him. "Well, how's this look."

Jim's eyes widened and a chill ran up his spine. "That's him." He stood up and almost laughed. "That's him."

Leslie smiled and took the sketch. "Let me run this through the computer, maybe we can come up with something."

Jim agreed, giving up the sketch. "I would like a copy, please."

Leslie smiled and handed him a copy from the Xerox machine. "I think I remember him from somewhere," she said. "I just can't remember where."

Jim nodded. "How long will it take?"

"I'll give you a call." She winked and turned toward her computer.

He stared at the picture while he made his way out to his truck. He ran a hand down the side of the passenger side window and door. "Someone should be here." He climbed into that side of the truck and just sat there.

A knock on the window brought him around. "Jim, what are you doing?" He opened his eyes to see Lee standing beside the truck.

"Hey," he hopped out of the truck and pulled the other man into a quick embrace. "I found him. Or at least I got a picture."

"What are you talking about?" Lee stared at Jim, his face growing dark with anger as Jim handed him the sketch of Blair. "Who's this?"

"It's the guy in my visions, I got Leslie to draw this up."

Lee's expression hadn't changed. "Well, that's great." He threw the picture back at Jim and huffed off toward his Jeep.

"Listen, I know this is strange, but these flashes keep..."

"I don't want to hear it, Jim." Lee got into his Jeep and pulled out of the police parking lot, squealing tires as he went. He clicked his cell phone and dialed.

"Hey, it's me. Listen, Ellison remembers; he's got some chick named Leslie at the station looking Sandburg up. Take care of her, now!"

He clicked the phone shut and wiped the tear from his eye. "Why now Jim, why did you have to remember now?"

* * *

Jim headed back to the loft. He paused at the door, hearing someone inside. Gun drawn he was through the door quickly. Everything was quiet, nothing moved. A frantic heart beat, brought him to the small storage room under the stairs. The scent over took him, spicy, exotic, some kind of herb tea, something he knew, or thought he should. A bird fluttered overhead and he headed up the fire escape stairs. The scent was stronger here, lingering. Feeling the railing he could sense the heat left by a human hand.

"Where are you?" he shouted. The city sounds kicked in, horns, car screeching, people talking. The scent was faint now, the heat dissipated, the sound of the frantic heartbeat all but gone. He focused his eyes, watching the street, people, cars.

"There." Across the street, huddled in the doorway of the shop was the man from his images. The instant he made eye contact his heart sank, he knew this man. He hurried down to the street, trying to keep an eye on him, not to let him escape. He crossed the street, finding the empty doorway. "Where are you?!" he shouted. The people on the street looking at him, moving away. He fell to his knees, head in hand.

* * *

The red Jeep pulled into the parking garage and Lee Brackett gathered his cell phone and bag and headed up the stairs to the loft.

Jim sat on the couch, just staring into space. "Jim, look I'm sorry."

Jim looked up at him. "I saw him today."

"The picture, you saw the picture, right?"

"No, the guy he was in here."

"What?! That's impossible, he's..."

Jim grabbed his arm. "He's what, Lee?" Jim squeezed his arm hard and drug him close. "You know something about this don't you?"

"He's dead Jim." Jim released him and let him step back. "I need to know what you remember?"

Jim shook his head. "Just bits and pieces really. What's going on? Tell me the truth."

Lee sat down on the coffee table in front of him. Lee gathered his thoughts, trying to sort through the lies of the past year and the real feelings he had now. "He was a college kid that discovered your Sentinel abilities." Jim gave him a funny look. "He was your guide, Jim."

"Why don't I remember him?"

"I'm not sure, I think it had something to do with post-traumatic-stress syndrome or something like that. You blocked it out."

"I remember the accident, just not the details. Flashes really." Lee flinched as Jim sat forward, weary that Jim might remember everything and try to kill him. "You told me that it was a car bomb or something, killed my partner, you said that you'd help me." Lee nodded and took Jim's hands in his.

"I was sent in to help you remember and to get you back on your feet."

"Back on my feet? Don't you mean flat on my back."

Lee blushed at Jim's reference to sex. "That was a nice bonus."

"You said you were sent in?" Lee nodded. "Who sent you?" Lee avoided his gaze. "Who sent you to me, Lee? Why did you play dumb with me about knowing who Blair was?" Lee pushed the table back and stood up. Jim stood up with him.

"I had to know what you remembered. I couldn't tell you anything, you had to remember on your own." Lee was shaking now, Jim was physically flushed, his anger showed in his glare.

"Why?"

"That's what the doctors said, you had to do it on your own. I was just to monitor you and report any changes."

"Report to who?"

"We all have someone we answer to, Jim."

"Who?"

Jim had him by the arms now, Lee winced at the force of his grip. "You're hurting me, I've never hurt you." Lee took a deep breath as Jim released him. He stepped away quickly.

"How did he die?"

Lee saw the pain in Jim's eyes and wanted to make it go away, he just didn't know how.

"He was working undercover with you and...it went bad. It was one of the few times you let him drive your truck." Lee watched Jim's face, trying to see if anything registered.

"When he started it, the bomb went off killing him and two people on the street."

"It wasn't him."

"Yes it was, Jim. There were a lot of witnesses. You were right there, you saw the whole thing."

"Then how could he be here today?"

"He wasn't Jim, it was just a memory trying to surface. He used to live here too."

"What do you mean live here?"

Lee crossed the room and opened the french door that lead to Blair's old room. "He shacked up with you after his place blew up."

Jim walked in beside him. The assault on his senses was overwhelming. He was glad for Lee's strong grip on his arm. "He was here, in here today."

"No, Jim, he's gone."

Jim looked around the room and started digging through the boxes stacked against the back wall.

"What are you doing?"

"What are in these boxes?"

Lee sighed. "Most of it's stuff that you had in the apartment when Blair was here, some of it belongs to him."

"If I can remember flashes, maybe these things, Blair's things, can help me to fully remember."

Lee shrugged and walked to the opening to the fire escape. "Jim."

Jim came up beside him and eyed the door lock. "Some one was in here." Lee said, fingering the wood splinters on the door frame.

Jim spent the afternoon searching the room, looking for what, Lee couldn't imagine. Lee spent the afternoon, removing all the little bugs and listening devices from the loft. He himself struggled with calling TPTB and letting them know about this new development. Only one problem. He loved Jim Ellison. He hadn't meant for it to happen, hadn't wanted it to happen, but it did. Now he sat on the couch, listening to his lover rummage through boxes of clothes, pictures, artifacts and everything that had belonged to Blair. He hated Blair. Not because of who Blair was, but because Blair got Jim, in the end he probably would again.

Lee jumped as Jim bent over him and kissed him quickly on the forehead. "I think I've found something." He listened carefully as Jim explained the differences between the smell of the older things and the new smell of the past few days. Lee nodded at Jim when he was suppose to and grinned on cue. He was tired and lonely now, deep inside lonely, like Jim had already left him.

"Jim.'' Lee said, fidgeting with the beer between his thighs. "Do you remember if you and Blair were..." Lee almost laughed at Jim's weird expression.

"Were we lovers?" Lee nodded. "I don't know. It's all foggy."

"You're tired." Lee assessed and got up to fetch Jim a beer. "Drink this, maybe it'll slow you down some."

"No, I don't want to dampen my senses, I'm onto something here. I think I'll head down to the station and..."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why not?"

"Because everyone that ever knew of you and Blair have been carefully relocated."

"Why?"

"So that nothing would interfere with your recovery." Lee just sat there, spouting out the statements as if he didn't care.

"Lee, what's wrong? Don't you want me to remember?"

"Why should I? As soon as you do, my job is done, I'm outta here."

"Lee," Jim sat down beside him and hugged him. "I have you to thank for helping me make it through the last year. I couldn't have done it without you." Lee closed his eyes and snuggled against Jim's chest. "What would I do without you?" He smiled as Jim stroked his hair and hugged him tighter.

* * *

Lee watched Jim sleeping peacefully on the large bed. He tried to slip from his grasp without waking him.

"Hey you." Jim pulled him back down. "Going somewhere?"

Lee moaned as Jim's erection touched his stomach. "Don't you ever get enough?"

"Are you complaining?" Lee shook his head and kissed Jim's neck, working his way down to the hard organ, engulfing it with his mouth. The bitter, salty taste filled his mouth. He worked his hands over Jim's chest and thighs, coaxing his lover to come. He didn't get far when Jim pulled him off and dragged him up beside him on the bed. "I want you Lee, right now."

Lee started to protest when Jim flipped him over and quickly pressed against his opening with the head of his cock. He barely heard the words Jim uttered as he slipped inside roughly. Only slight pain, he was still lose from their lovemaking earlier. He thrust himself backward onto Jim's throbbing cock and began a hard rhythm, sending Jim deeper and deeper inside him. This was where he wanted to be, no other place, no other person. He didn't work for anyone but Jim. He called out Jim's name as his own semen spilled unto the damp sheets. He accepted Jim's weight against his back as his lover's orgasm neared. He felt the luscious pain of teeth on his shoulder as Jim's cock throbbed deep inside, filling him.

Sated for the moment they collapsed together. Jim could hear Lee's heart still racing, his breathing ragged. "Hey, what's wrong?" Jim turned him to face him. Tears streaked his face, eyes red. "Hey, shhh, it's ok. Did I hurt you?"

Lee shook his head and snuggled against Jim's chest. "There's so much I haven't told you."

"Like what?"

"They'll be coming for you, for us."

"Who? Who are they, Lee?" Lee sat up and slid to the edge of the bed.

"I work for the government, Jim, I was sent to watch you. You weren't suppose to remember anything."

Jim's heart stopped or came damn near it. "Are you telling me you were sent here to spy on me?"

Lee nodded, but didn't move. Jim slipped his hand under the mattress and retrieved his spare gun. He stood up and pointed it at Lee. "I think it's time we got to the bottom of this." Jim watched Lee's eyes as he fixed on the gun then looked back to Jim's eyes.

"Go ahead, it doesn't matter now." Jim couldn't do it, he lowered the gun. "Why do you say that."

"They'll kill me now anyway."

"Why?"

"Because I haven't called them and told them about this."

"And how do I know you didn't."

"You don't." Lee pulled on his underwear and stood. "But if I had called them we wouldn't have been making love just now. You'd be locked away."

"I don't get it, why would the government do this."

"You Sentinel abilities are very...useful. They thought they could manipulate you into working for them."

"Why kill Blair?"

"You told them no, guess you don't remember that either," Jim shook his head.

"Anyway, after the 'accident', your abilities went with your memories. It was decided that you might recover your memory and your abilities if you went home."

"And you came with me."

"Yes, I was the agent assigned to make sure you were taken care of. I was suppose to help you enter back into your life and report if your memories or abilities surfaced. That night you zoned while we were..." Jim nodded. "Well that was the first of it. I think the knock on the head by the robbers must have had something to do with that."

Jim nodded then pointed down the stairs. "Let's go downstairs, get some coffee."

"I don't know if that such a good idea."

"Why?"

"You have to leave, get out of here before they come."

Jim shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere until I know everything."

"I've told you what you needed to know, if you don't leave they'll kill you."

"Not if they want to use me."

"You don't understand, they can't risk letting you go. You're a threat to them, they know it. They won't let you live, Jim." Jim started to pull away as Lee touched his arm. "I know I've lied to you, but I do care about you. That was your fault, you're so damn loveable."

Jim grabbed him by the arms. "No more lies, Lee, I need the truth." Lee nodded and relaxed against Jim. He saw the opportunity and grabbed the gun, pushing Jim back as he did. "Now get dressed, we're leaving."

"You won't shoot me."

"Sometimes we do what we have to do, we have to go, now."

Lee watched as Jim dressed. He quickly pulled on his own clothes, then grabbed a bag from the closet.

"What's in there?"

"Things we'll need to survive."

"I don't like this, Lee, let's go to the police station, we can work this out."

"There's no time, I haven't made contact in almost 24 hours, they'll be coming."

"Ok, but put down the gun ok, I'll go with you, willingly." Lee almost faltered. He considered letting the gun drop, when Jim stepped forward. Lee cocked the gun.

"Don't... let's just get out of here, ok."

They headed out the door and down to the parking garage.

"We'll have to ditch the truck outside of town," Lee said as slipped into the passenger seat as Jim started the Expedition.

"What about Blair?" Jim asked as he headed out of the garage.

"As far as I know, Jim, Blair is dead," he stared out the window, then returned his gaze to Jim. "I only know one way of getting the whole truth."

"How's that?"

"I go back in, check the computers, find out if he's really dead."

Jim was shaking his head. "No, too risky, you said it yourself, they would kill you now."

"Not right away and you could save me." Lee grinned and touched Jim's arm.

"What if I couldn't, no, it's..."

"It's the only way to know for sure. I owe you that much." Lee's gaze returned to the storm raging outside. "Take me to the warehouse district. You get to the hospital, tell them your head's hurting or something, then slip away. Just make sure they have your name on file as checking in. OK?"

Jim watched as Lee rummaged through the bag he had brought. He handed Jim a small phone. "This is my private line, I'll contact you in a few hours, if you don't hear from me..." He met Jim's eyes. "Just get the hell out of here."

"I'll come for you."

They arrived near the waterfront/warehouse district within a few minutes. Lee slipped from the truck and began his preparations. Jim watched as he slipped a small straight razor into a slot behind his belt buckle and other small gadgets into his boots and jacket. The rain drenched them both. Lee ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at Jim

"Listen, I'm going to tell them I haven't checked in because you weren't feeling good. I left you at the hospital so they could run some tests. I'll have to tell them that you've started remembering things. They already know part of it from our conversation at the loft." He stopped fidgeting when he noticed Jim staring at him. Jim backed him into the truck and captured his mouth, rough, dominating, demanding, then pulling back as quickly. Lee caught his breath and smiled at Jim.

"I don't remember what I felt for Blair or what there was between us, but here, now, you matter. Be careful." Lee stepped away, looking back over his shoulder to see Jim climb into the truck. He closed his eyes, pushing the thoughts and feelings down. It would be the last time he would see Jim, he knew that.

He was met at the gate by his former lover Remy. "So the prodigal son returns. The hounds were just sent to retrieve your butt." Remy held a gun to Lee's ribs. "Inside." Lee held up his hands and did as he was instructed. Once inside Remy slammed him into the wall, pressing his face hard against the cold concrete. "Let's see what we can find, shall we."

Remy pulled his jacket off and dropped it to the floor. Lee stiffened as Remy began his search. Rough cold hands pulling his shirt from his jeans, fumbling beneath it, pinching his nipples, stomach, ribs, down to his navel. He shoved his hand down the front of Lee's pants, disregarding the belt that held them in place and fondled his genitals roughly. Lee squirmed and whimpered but Remy's grip on his neck tightened every time he tried to move away.

"You've been letting that guy play with this, haven't you? Letting him fuck you." Lee tried to pull away, but Remy slammed his face into the wall making him dizzy. "I think I should reclaim my prize while I have the time." Remy said almost in a whisper.

"No." Lee grabbed his arm as Remy tried to undo his jeans, but Remy pulled his arm behind him, making him cry out in pain.

"Shut up, you whore." Remy managed to push Lee's jeans to his knees and reveal his own cock in record speed. Remy clamped a hand over Lee's mouth as he entered him. Lee was silent as Remy worked himself in and out in a heightened frenzy. Remy's hatred grew as he felt Lee laughing. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"You're a fucking bastard with a small dick, Remy."

Remy slammed his head against the wall again. "Well, we'll see." He slammed deeply once again and came.

Lee's smiled faded; he felt dirty, cheap. It hadn't hurt, not physically, but down inside he knew he would never forget it.

A single shot rang out in the long dark hall and Remy slipped from him and fell backwards. Lee pulled up his jeans and looked up into his father's eyes. "I thought you could use some help." Lee nodded.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine." The man ran a finger along the purple bruise forming on the side of Lee's face.

"I believe we have some talking to do." Lee nodded and followed the man down the dark hallway.

Once inside the older man's office Lee headed for the small bathroom and cleaned up. When he exited two men were there to grab him and hold him. "What's this about?"

"It's about lies, Lee." The man slipped the clip from the pistol he held, checking it and reloaded it. "I wanted so much for you to work with me." He tilted Lee's head up with a hand. "But when you keep things from me, it's ugly. A liar is an ugly thing, unless they're really good at it." Lee started to speak when the other man held up the gun to his chest. "I really hate to do this, Lee, but you've left me no choice."

"No, father, you can't do this, nothing is worth this."

The older man wouldn't look him in the eye. He glanced over his shoulder and Lee's gaze followed, his eyes landing on the figure that stepped from the darkness. "Do it," the shadowy figure said, flicking the stub end of his cigar at Lee. Lee's father held the gun up to his son's chest and cocked the gun.

"Please, don't do this." He could see the panic and fear in Lee's eyes. "Father, please!"

He squeezed and the hammer slammed into the gun. 'click.' Lee opened his eyes to see his father staring at the gun.

"Good, that's very good." The shadowy figure stepped forward and took the gun. Lee's father stared at the other man. "Just a test, Mr. Rickman, just wanted to see if you were still up to the task."

Rickman clenched his fist and let it fly to the side of the man's face, knocking him into the wall. Lee elbowed one of the guards holding him, but couldn't reach the other one before he unleashed the small darts and sent 150,000 volts of electricity through his body. He convulsed forward then fell to his knees. Rickman drew his gun and shot the man before Lee hit the floor. He gathered Lee in his arms and managed to drag him to the couch and handcuff him to it before he awoke.

"What that hell?" Lee screamed as he regained consciousness. "I had to explain before you killed me."

"I didn't care to hear your explanations."

Lee stood, pulled as hard as he could, and dislocated the arm of the couch, releasing its hold on him. "Give me the keys and I won't kill you," he said approaching Rickman.

"No Lee, stop this, we have to get out of here before he wakes up," h e said pointing to the shadowy figure.

"I have to get access to the computer before I leave."

Rickman was shaking his head. "No, they changed all the codes, there's no way in, they suspected you might come back."

"I'll find a way." Lee said grabbing the shadowy man by the coat. "Give me the keys so I can tie him up, come on!"

Rickman grabbed his wrists and released one. Lee grabbed the back of his head and brought his face forward. "I haven't forgotten you tried to kill me, Father." Rickman nodded and released the other wrist. Lee cuffed the shadowy man's hands behind his back and lifted him to what remained of the couch.

"Lee, you've got to get out of here, I can't protect you, didn't I just prove that to you?"

"I have to know some things before I leave." Rickman nodded. "Where's Blair?"

"Jim's guide? He's dead, you know that."

Lee grabbed the gun from the floor and pointed it point blank at Rickman. "Stop lying to me!" Rickman backed up until he reached the edge of his desk. "I know Blair is alive, now what did you do to him?"

Rickman shook his head. "It wasn't me, it was them," he said pointing over Lee's shoulder, to the three suited men standing in the doorway. Two gunmen stood at the sides, drawn on Lee and Rickman.

"Mr. Brackett, I see we have a problem."

Lee shook his head. Lee spun, placing Rickman between him and the gunmen. "I don't see a problem, just solutions," he said making his way toward the cuffed man on the couch. "The way I see it, I've got two hostages, plenty of cover for me to escape, even if you take out one."

"So what do you want?" The second man asked, trying to edge toward Brackett.

"Stop or your boss learns a whole new meaning to the word 'ventilation'."

The man stopped and took a step back.

The shadowy figure awoke and sat forward. Lee grabbed his arm and pulled him up. "Hands behind your back, _Dad_ ," Lee said grabbing him around the throat. Rickman did as he was told and Lee cuffed him, but through the cuffs on the other man, hooking the two hostages together. "Now one of you will get hit on the way out if these guys try anything funny."

The shadowy figure coughed. "This will never work," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Why not?" Brackett asked shoving the gun under his ear.

"Simply because I'm expendable, like your father."

Lee smiled. "Well, we'll see just how much these guys love their jobs then, won't we." He started for the back office door, dragging the two men with him.

"Lee, wait, there's another way."

Lee grabbed his father by the back of his head. "Don't try it, I know this place, this is the only way we can get out of here alive."

After a few minutes they opened the outside door. The helicopter sat on the pad. He pushed them toward it, both men having to run sideways. He stopped beside it, blasting the cuff chain on Rickman. "Get in, start it up."

Rickman jumped into the pilot's seat and started the chopper. Gunfire rang out from the warehouse now, but it wasn't headed for the them. Lee strapped the cuffed man in and looked outside the copter. He smiled as Jim took down four men, heading for the helicopter. "Come on," he screamed as the blades whirled frantically. Jim made the distance quickly and smiled at Lee.

"Not leaving without me were you?"

"Never!" he said hoisting the bigger man past him into the helicopter. A shot rang out and Lee blinked twice and fell backwards into Jim's lap. The helicopter lifted off to a serenade of bullets.

* * *

Blair came through the door and slammed it shut. His breathing ragged, his hair wet with perspiration, he made it to the remnants of a couch and collapsed. A young girl, perhaps sixteen came through a doorway, parting the sheet as she did.

"Blair, oh my God, are you OK?" She sat down on the floor beside him.

He looked up, his eyes almost completely black. "I saw him, saw him get on a helicopter with someone shooting at him." She hugged him gently.

"It's OK."

"NO! It's not OK, he was still with Brackett, how could he do that to me?" He sobbed loudly as she rocked him.

"Men are pigs, Blair, they use you and toss you aside." He nodded as he hugged her small breasts, taking comfort in her warmth.

"It's cold again." he said, sitting up slightly.

"Yeah, I ran out of paper, the stove went out." Blair sighed.

"This is nuts. I should go to the University, ask them for money."

"Yeah, right, Blair, you can do that." Claire pulled him close and hugged him. In the last two months Blair had become her life. At first she had pulled him in, cold, tired and starving from the streets. Now Blair had become her protector and watched out for her and her little sister, Elizabeth. Or as Blair like to call her, little Beth. Together they scrounged for money, begging as needed and as Claire put it, taking when necessary. A little more of Blair emerged each day, his memories surfacing as he cleared himself of the drugs. He would tell them stories, stories of his adventures, his life in the rain forests and with Jim. He missed Jim a lot. The more he remembered the more he would dream and wake up crying.

Claire like the survival stories, they reminded her that she was not the only person alone in the world. She listened as Blair would recount theses stories, people that collected water in leaves laid out for that reason. It reminded her of how she and her sister would do anything they had to to survive on the streets. But they were just stories right? Ravings of a mad man.

Blair was a God-send, an angel, because he showed them the missions and tried to get them to stay at shelters. But it was Claire that had discovered the big, blue truck for Blair. The large, kind man that gave her money when she asked. Claire had discovered what Blair had lost, she had found Jim. What she didn't realize was that finding Jim with Brackett had broken her angel's heart.

Blair pulled away and looked up into the chocolate eyes of his young friend. "They took him away from me again, Claire. What am I going to do now?"

"Oh my angel. I'll find him for you."

"How?"

"I know people who might help." She stood up.

"Please Claire, take me to them, I need to find Jim. I have to find out what's going on."

"You can't go with me, Blair."

He took her hand and pulled her back down with him. "Why not?"

"These people don't like...normals."

"Normals? What are you talking about, Claire?"

"I'll find out what you need to know," she pulled away and stood up. "I'll be gone until morning, keep an eye on Beth."

Blair went to her. "Claire is there something you're not telling me?"

"For everything there is a price, Blair." He frowned, then took off the necklace around his neck.

"I found this at the apartment, it should be worth something."

She took the leather cord and put it around her neck. "I'll find him for you Blair." He kissed her on the forehead and she left.

Beth walked up beside him and took his hand. "You'll leave us," she stated, gripping his hand tighter. Blair's heart sank at her words. "You'll leave us when you find him."

Blair shook his head and knelt down beside her. "I'll take care of you lil' Beth, I promise." Tears clouded his vision as she wrapped her thin arms around his neck.

* * *

The dark tunnel smelled of sewage and rotten earth. Claire made her way quickly, avoiding the rats and other vermin she imagined in the water. It took her almost an hour to make the gates. They swung open with a rusty squeak. A tall slender young man greeted her. "Claire," he eyed her and licked his lips. "I thought you didn't have a use for us outcasts?"

"I need to talk to Gerick." He frowned and slung the rifle's strap over his shoulder.

"Come on." Claire scooted past him into the small entrance way. "Lewis, take over." Another man took his post and Marcus pointed Claire into a tunnel.

The sewer city was a complex maze of tunnels and forgotten sewage passages. Most were not used and still reeked of the past stench. Marcus handed her a breather and opened the locked swing-gate in front of her. He nodded and she climbed down the slick surface, clinging to the ropes tied to the overhead grate.

Twenty minutes later the tunnel grew bright and opened into a large cavern. People stopped and looked as Claire stepped down. Marcus pushed passed her and led the way to a hole in the wall across the cavern. "We like to be paid for their services, you know that."

Clair nodded and gave Marcus the pendant around her neck. "I'll wait for you," he said, slipping the arrow head necklace on.

She pushed the heavy door opened and slipped inside.

"Claire! My lovely, you've come back to me." A short, chubby guy with thick glasses met her and took her hand. His snarl, making his face look fatter than it was.

"Gerick, hi, I need your help," she said, stepping up, out of the running sewage around her feet.

"Of course, my dear," he said, looking down her tube top. "For a price, of course."

Claire met his gaze and smiled. "Of course." He slipped a hand around her waist and lead her back to his console room.

Six computer screens flickered and buzzed, some showing the news, others erotic pictures, with sound. Printers worked furiously in the background.

"It's urgent," he stated sitting in the large, rolling chair, patting his lap.

"Yes, someone's life may depend on it." she sat, feeling his fingers dig into her buttocks as she did. "Please Gerick." He nodded and grabbed the pen from the table.

"What is it?"

"There's a man, his name is James Ellison, he was a cop. He's into something secret, but my friend won't say what."

"Friend? When did you acquire a friend, my dear?"

"I found him in the street, he didn't even know who he was."

"Perhaps we should find out about him first," he said, slipping the glasses back up his nose.

"OK, his name is Blair, dark, curly hair, blue eyes."

"I can do a missing persons on him, what's his last name?"

"I don't know, I'm not sure he remembers that much. He was in a hospital somewhere, drugged up."

The fat man adjusted himself in the chair, pushing Claire up and off. "Let me work."

Claire watched as Gerick used three of his computers simultaneously, trying to find Blair for her. Shaking his head he turned to her. "Nope, no one missing named Blair, first or last name. No report of any escapes from any hospitals in the last five years. Sorry, Claire."

"He says he worked at a university, could that help?"

"Let's see what we can see." Claire sat down on the chair near him, watching over his shoulder. "Well, well." Clair's face lit up as an image of Blair downloaded to the screen. "Is this your guy?" she nodded, touching the clean, well shaven face of her angel.

"So, who is he?"

Gerick frowned. "Well, his name was Blair Sandburg, Anthropologist." He scrolled through Blair's credential on another screen. "Says, he was teamed with a cop named Ellison."

"That's him," she almost shouted pointing to Jim's face on another monitor.

He clicked open the search and looked for anything to do with Sandburg and the Cascade Police Dept. "They were working on something big when a car bomb took out Ellison's truck, killing his partner." A picture of Blair came up with the obituary beneath it. "This guy is suppose to be dead."

She nodded. "What about Ellison? Where is he, can you find out?"

He nodded and began his search. "Ellison went back to work at the CPD three months after Blair's accident. Hell, he wasn't even hurt, why so long?" he said, scratching his chin. "Let's see what the hospital records can tell us." Claire smiled and watched quietly as Gerick pounded the keys in three different files. "Lots of red tape, this guy is waist deep in government. This might take a while."

Claire walked over to the cot in the corner and laid down. She fell asleep soon after that.

* * *

Blair hopped into the Expedition, excited to be helping Jim out on his undercover assignment. He reached to start the truck, when someone yanked the door open .A hand grabbed him and threw him to the street just before the truck burst into flames. A sinking feeling took over him as the cloth on his face was held tighter and tighter. White coats surrounded him, the cold metal of the table bit into his back and buttocks. He floated to the surface, hearing Jim scream. "NO! NOT BLAIR!" He caught a glimpse of his struggling partner as three men in white coats forced him from the room. The sheet touched his face, he was dead.

Blair jerked awake and sat up. "Damn it." He stood up and looked around the small room. Beth slept against the wall, curled around a teddy bear. The sun was peeking through the broken window near her. He raked his fingers through his matted hair, cursing at the knots and tangles. He thought about a hot shower, coffee and donuts, with Jim. "That would be perfect."

Beth turned over and smiled up at him. "What, Blair?" He knelt beside her, running a hand over her short, straight, black hair.

"I was thinking about breakfast, you hungry?" She shook her head.

"No, it's OK, you go ahead." Blair nodded. He watched her fall asleep and pulled her covers up over her.

Blair glanced down at his clothes or what had to pass for clothes. His pants were almost black, though tan when he first began wearing them. His shirt was torn in several places and smelled really bad. He sighed, tucking what remained of the tail into his pants and headed out the door. "Have to eat to survive, have to survive to find Jim." He chanted it over and over, his new mantra. "Have to kill Brackett, oh yeah that's high on the list."

Before he knew it he was back on his old street. The loft was just a few buildings down. Cop cars surrounded the building. He could see several people coming and going out of the garage. Jim's truck was not there, that much he could see. He made his way closer. A few people stood on the sidewalk across the street watching the police. Blair joined them, keeping to the back. He feared the police, but didn't know why. Something in the back of his mind, said they were in on it. Why Jim didn't want to be with him. Why he had been locked away in a hospital for months. Why Brackett was coming and going like he had never been a criminal. They were all in on it. By the time he had realized it, his back was against the glass window of a store.

An older man was staring at him. "You OK, boy?"

Blair nodded, calming himself. "What's going on over there?"

"That cop fella's in some trouble, the mothers said that he was dirty."

"That's crazy, Ellison is an honest cop." But as the statement came from his lips, he doubted it. Why else would Jim be with Brackett; it made some sense. Besides he didn't know Jim anymore. Didn't know what he was capable of.

"Doesn't matter, they say they shot down that bird he was in. They're just trying to get the rest of the evidence now."

"They shot him down, when, where."

"Somewhere outside of town, last night."

"Did anyone survive?"

The old man looked at Blair closely. "Do you need some help, sonny?"

"Did they get anyone out of the wreckage?"

The older man shook his head. "Don't think so."

Blair fell against the wall, then against the old man. He staggered to get his legs to work, drag him from this place.

The man grabbed him. "Listen, I think you should go to the hospital or something. I'll take you."

Blair straightened and forced a smile. "No, no thank you. I'll be fine."

He started jogging, then running, then racing. His heart screamed as it pumped harder and harder. The pain seared his chest, burned his lungs, the tears burned his eyes as he struggled to keep the pace. He reached a busy street and had to stop.

He collapsed to his knees beside a paper box, breathing, crying, screaming at the same time. He waited for the traffic to stop, then pulled himself up. Glancing through the tears at the headlines on the paper, he read. "Spies go down in fiery crash."

Blair punched the front of the box, sending shards of glass everywhere. He reached inside and took out a paper. Careful not to smear the print with his blood. "Cascade Police took down a spy ring that tried a daring escape....shot the bird...went down Cascade Sewage Treatment Plant. Bingo!"

He tossed the paper aside and started running again.

* * *

Claire was awaken by a chubby hand on her thigh. "Claire, come see." Clair stretched and walked over to the computer console where Gerick had been working all night. Jim's face was across three of the screens, Blair's still on one.

"He's got amnesia, or did have."

Claire nodded. "That would explain a lot. What else?"

He frowned. "Well, his recovery was helped along by this guy." Brackett's face popped up. "He's a government dude, covert ops and shit. Real toy, goes in, gets the job done and out again. From what I can see this has been his longest assignment in history."

"Maybe it's not just an assignment." Claire said glancing from Brackett to Jim. "Maybe they're in love."

Gerick laughed. "I don't think you'll have to worry about that anymore."

"Why's that?"

"Well, last night, around three, that bird your friend was on, crashed."

"What? Where?"

"As the fates would have it, not far from here."

"Gerick, I've got to know if he's alive."

Gerick sighed heavily.

"Please, it's important."

"Marcus is taking a security party out that way, he's making sure no one finds their way in here."

"Can you contact him?"

Gerick was shaking his head. "He'll contact us when he knows something."

"Please, I have to find out."

"OK, but you owe me big time."

Claire nodded. "Anything!"

"OK, go sort through the stuff I printed on your friends, I'll get a hold of Marcus."

Claire gathered the printed pages of Blair, Jim and Brackett. She read carefully over Blair's bio. She smiled reading of the places he'd been, remembering the stories. He was telling the truth. When she looked up, Gerick was waving at her.

"Come on, girl, they're bringing in three people from the wreckage. One is bleeding pretty bad, probably won't make it. The other two are kind of beat up, but they'll live." He hurried her out the door and down the corridor. "Marcus got to them before the chopper exploded, there was still one other person on board, he didn't make it."

Claire almost broke into a run when she saw Jim, helping Marcus lower another man onto the floor. "Jim."

He looked up to catch a glimpse, then returned his focus to Brackett.

Jim cradled his head in his lap. "Lee, can you hear me?"

Two men began tearing at Lee's blood stained clothes. They finally forced Jim away and began working on him.

Claire made her way over to Jim, touching his arm tenderly. "Will he make it?"

Jim shook his head. "I don't know, he was shot, then the damn chopper when down, it all happened so fast."

Claire smiled when Jim met her eyes. She could see why Blair found him so attractive. "Here, let me clean you up."

Claire led him to a large basin of water and helped him wipe the blood from his face and arms. "Jim?" her heart sank as she said his name. "What were you doing on that helicopter?"

"Helping my friend."

"You mean your lover."

Jim locked her gaze. "So?" Jim turned back to watch the people working on Lee.

"He's a spy, isn't he?"

"Who are you?" he said, visibly annoyed with her.

"I know someone who is looking for you."

"Lady, today the whole Cascade Police Dept. is looking for me."

Claire laughed. "Yeah, but they don't know you like Blair does."

Claire jumped as Jim gripped her arms tightly. "Blair? Where is he?"

"He's not here, but I know him."

"Take me to him."

"NO! You'll hurt him."

"Never, I would never hurt Blair."

"So, do you remember him now?"

"Yes, I remember a lot of things, but they're foggy. Blair would know how to help me."

Marcus walked up and pulled Jim's hands from Claire. "The lady is spoken for," he said stepping between them.

"Listen, thank you for pulling me out of that thing, but this girl has some information that I need."

"Then you'll be willing to pay for it."

Jim took his wallet out. "This is crazy," he said pulling the money from it and handing it to Marcus. "She came to me."

"Claire is not a SHO, she doesn't understand the need for payment."

Jim shook his head. "Look, can I talk to her now?"

Marcus stepped aside and watched Jim step up to Claire. He lifted his rifle and smacked Jim in the back of the head with the butt, sending him to the floor.

"Marcus! Why did you do that?"

"I don't trust this guy."

"You are so ignorant." Claire was kneeling by Jim, making sure he was all right.

"It's time for you to go, Claire."

Gerick grabbed Marcus by the arm and pulled him backwards. "Don't touch her." Marcus tried to pull from his grasp, but Gerick in a heartbeat was at his neck with a straight razor. "I don't like you Marcus, you know that. Don't make me kill you."

Marcus gave a slight nod and was released.

"Tie the stranger up with the other one," Claire opened her mouth to interject, but Gerick stopped her with a hand. "We can't take any chances."

She nodded. "Can I bring Blair here?"

"I don't know Claire, this could get messy, these are government guys. If they get down here, we're all dead."

Claire agreed. "I have to tell him I found Jim."

"You still owe me. Don't forget it."

"I won't, I'll be back." She leaned in to kiss his cheek and he slipped something into her hand.

"Get something to eat."

She smiled at the fifty in her hand. "I will."

As Claire started back through the tunnels toward the small apartment, she smiled. Blair would be happy.

* * *

Blair wandered back to the apartment after the police ran him from the crash site. Beth took his hand and walked with him. "Claire hasn't come home yet."

"How long does it take her to get wherever she was going?"

"I'm worried," she sighed. "Claire loves you, Blair, she'd do anything to help you."

Blair knelt beside Beth. "When all of this is over, I promise you'll have a home."

Beth smiled and ran a hand over his tangled hair. "How can you find me one, when you don't have one."

"I do, I did."

"Blair, are your memories getting better?"

"You mean my head."

"No, your memories, are they telling you more?"

"I know where I use to live, you know that, but I can't go back there."

"Why not? Why not go back and tell these people you're OK."

"Because I don't know who tried to kill me or who put me in that hospital. But I'm sure Brackett is a part of it."

"Look, it's Claire."

Claire was running down the street toward them. Blair hugged her, but she pushed away quickly. "I found him Blair, I found Jim."

Blair's eyes widened. "The helicopter, it went down."

"Yes," she was smiling. "But he's alive, I talked to him."

He hugged her harder. "Where is he, take me to him."

"That's complicated."

"You're killing me here, where is he?"

"He's with some people, they'll take care of him."

Blair was pacing back and forth now. "They want something right, what? Money, is that what they want?"

"No, Blair, well, money would be good, but that's not it." She physically pulled him inside the building and sat him down. "Listen to me. These people, they have their own rules, their own way of doing things, they don't like people from up here to bother them."

"I don't care, Claire, take me there, I've dealt with a lot of people in my life." Claire handed the papers to Blair.

"I found these." Blair read over the papers. His face fell as he read his own obituary. "My God, they think I'm dead. Jim thinks I'm dead. That's why he's with someone else. But that...that doesn't explain Brackett."

"No, look," Claire rifled through the papers and found the hospital report on Jim. "He doesn't remember you Blair, he's got amnesia, or at least he did."

"What do you mean?"

"He knew your name when I told him I knew where you were."

"Where is he, Claire?" Blair grabbed both of her arms. "Please, tell me."

"I can't guarantee we can get past the guards, they might kill us."

"I have to try Claire, Jim is my life." Claire glanced over to Beth, then back to Blair. "We'll try." she gathered a few things and stuffed them in a nap sack. "Beth, we're going to stay with Gerick this time. His people won't let us leave again."

Beth nodded and gathered the few clothes she had and handed them to Claire. "I'm scared, Claire," she said, staring at her sister. "Blair will leave us now."

Claire nodded and hugged her. "He doesn't belong here, you know that." Beth headed out the door.

"Claire, when all this is over." Blair turned her to look at him. "I promise I'll help you and Beth find a good home."

She nodded, but wouldn't meet his eyes. "I didn't tell you everything."

Blair shrugged.

"Brackett's alive or at least he was when I left. He had been shot and was bleeding a lot. Jim didn't want to leave him."

Blair bit his bottom lip.

"We better go before I change my mind."

Blair nodded and followed her out.

Claire followed the same path that led her to the underground city before. Her pace never slowed even when Beth begged her to slow down. The gates were guarded as before, but Marcus was no where to be seen.

Claire convinced the guard that Gerick was expecting her and her party, so he let her in. Blair gasped as they entered the large cavern. His anthropologist mind taking over as he watched the people at work. Many people gathered around them and he talked to them.

* * *

Jim held Lee's hand as he slept. An infection had set in and he was running a fever. He tossed and mumbled frequently. Jim tried to comfort him.

He heard the voice before he saw him, heard the heartbeat, smelt the familiar scent of his friend from across the cavern. He looked around frantically trying to find him. He was bound to a stake in the floor near Lee's father, Rickman, so he couldn't move much. Taking a deep breath he focused his mind and scanned the crowd of people. There among several children was Blair.

As soon as his eyes found him, Blair looked straight at him. Their eyes locked. Jim felt as if the weight that pounded his brain was being lifted. His Blair had come back to him.

Blair fought through the crowd to make his way toward Jim.

Claire grabbed his arm."Blair, be careful."

The smile on his face would not be diminished. "It's him, Claire, it's really Jim."

Jim pulled forward with all his strength, dislodging the stake from the ground. He dragged Rickman up with him in his frenzied attempt to free himself.

"Blair!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Hands were on him, stopping him, pushing him back down to the dirt floor.

Gerick stepped between him and another man, forcing his blade across the ropes that held Jim. "Leave him be," Gerick said as Marcus stepped toward Jim.

Once his hands were loose, Jim surged with all his force, shoving aside anyone that stepped in his path.

"Blair!"

His shout was more insistent this time, bringing the smaller man across the room. He stopped as Blair approached and his heart sank. There were dark circles beneath his eyes, torn clothes, rumpled hair.

"Oh, my God, Blair."

Blair had stopped and was fumbling with the remains of his shirt. Jim engulfed him, his arms seeking the warmth of the smaller man.

"You're alive, oh God, Blair, you're alive." Jim kissed the top of his head as Blair's trembling began. He held tight as the Blair's sobs rocked his body. "Shhh, it's ok, I'm here."

"I was so afraid I'd never see you again." Blair managed, bringing his mouth up to Jim's ear. Jim's lips grazed his for an instant, questioning, hesitating. Blair pressed against them, parted them. A slow deliberate kiss, testing the waters of agreement. He smiled inwardly as Jim pulled him closer and lifted him to his tip-toes. Jim's hand entwined in his hair and pulled his head back further, capturing the fullness of his lips, bruising, nipping, caressing, before releasing him for air. They held eye contact for what seemed an eternity.

"We have to get out of here, now," Jim said relinquishing his hold on Blair and pointing toward the quiet figure lying on the floor. "He needs medical attention."

"Jim, that's Brackett, don't you remember what he did to us? To you?"

Jim stared at Brackett's unmoving body.

"He's going to die if we don't get him out of here."

"I can't believe this."

"Look, all I remember, is that he was there for me after you died, he pulled me back together." He turned to see the disgust in Blair's eyes. "I can't leave him now, he needs me." Blair shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

"We don't have a chance in hell if he goes with us, he'll just slow us down." Jim continued staring at Lee. "Jim, there's like a gazillion cops out there that want your head. We'll get caught." His gaze fell on the other man again as his hand gripped Jim's arm. "I won't lose you again, Jim."

Jim pulled away and knelt beside Brackett, putting his hand on Brackett's forehead. "I think the fever's coming down, it's time to leave this place."

Rickman joined him. "I know a place where no one knows who we are, he'll be safe there."

Jim nodded. "Then it's time to move out." Jim scanned the cavern, noting the hurried gestures of the people packing their belongings. "Where are they going?" He turned to Claire who stood behind Blair.

"They can't stay here, too many questions will be asked."

"And you'll go with them?" It was a statement more than a question.

Claire looked at Blair. "I'll stay with Blair, wherever he goes."

"We can't take everyone." Jim said, staring into Blair's blue eyes.

"Then I'll stay with Clair and Beth, help them reach safety." Jim was shaking his head as the words left Blair's lips.

"No, I can't let you do that. It's not safe."

"No, it's not, that's why I should stay behind and help them."

Marcus stepped up to Blair and Jim. "I can take you a special way, away from our escape route and away from the city."

"Why would you help us now, Marcus?" Claire asked.

"I just want these strangers away from my people, that's all." He stepped away. "There's only one thing, Claire stays with me."

"No way, man." Blair injected, putting himself between Claire and Marcus.

"That's the deal," he said, his dark eyes staring into Blair's. "Take it or leave it." Marcus hoisted his rifle to his shoulder and walked off.

"Claire, you can't stay with him."

She held Blair's hand in hers. "If it gets you to safety then I have to, Blair." She walked away as Jim approached him.

"She means a lot to you, doesn't she?" Blair nodded.

"She took me in after I escaped from the hospital." He saw the questions in Jim's eyes, but looked away. Looking around at the people, no longer homeless. They had found a place beneath the city to form a sort of tribe. They banded together now and packed their belongings and readied themselves for the journey to another city, another sewer, another cave, another chance. Blair decided then, no matter what, he would take care of Claire and Beth: he had promised.

"I'm staying with them." He refused to turn as Jim tried to make him face him. He couldn't answer Jim's questions now, so he walked away, deeper into the cavern.

"Jim!" Rickman yelled across the distance. "Lee's awake."

Jim returned, knelt beside his lover and touched his face.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

Lee nodded weakly. "I've been better." Jim helped him sit up and held the cup as he drank water. "Where are we?"

"It's a long story, but we don't have time to go into it. We'll be leaving soon."

"We'll be leaving." Jim nodded. "Then you're not leaving me." Jim smiled down at him.

"Why would I do that?"

Lee pointed past him and Jim turned to see Blair walking back to the group. "We're different people now." Lee touched his arm making him break the eye contact with Blair. "I'd understand, you know that. Too much has happened, for you to forgive me."

"Well, I'm not making any life decisions today," Lee gritted his teeth as Jim checked the bandage over the bullet hole. "I just want to get us out of here alive." He laid Lee back down on the cot. "You rest, I've got to get us a guide out of here." Lee laughed, then cringed in pain. "Not that kind of guide." Jim placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

He found Marcus arguing with Gerick toward the entrance to his computer rooms. "Detective, now is the time for you and your party to get out of here. The military is planning on searching the system tunnels in the morning."

Jim looked at Marcus. "Does your offer still stand?"

Marcus nodded. "As long as Claire stays with me."

"I don't negotiate with people's lives, if she stays it's because she wants to." Jim stepped close to him. "Understand?"

Marcus looked up at Jim, but didn't move. "She stays or you take your chances with the military people." Jim's hands were around his throat instantly.

"Listen, you little punk, we get out of here safely or you're a dead man, you won't need a woman anymore, understand." He lifting him off the floor. Marcus nodded weakly and dropped to the floor with a thunk.

Gerick squealed his delight and clapped. "I wish I could do that."

Jim raised an eyebrow at him then turned back to Marcus as he pulled himself from the floor."One hour, understand?"

A confirming nod and Jim was on his way back to his companions. "We've got an hour to get you ready to travel," he said kneeling beside Lee. "Can you stand?"

"If it means living, yeah." He pushed his useless arm into a sling and Jim tied it securely around his neck.

"Too tight?"

"No, it's ok, it won't move that way." Rickman and Jim helped him to his feet. Jim's arm around his waist allowed him to shake off the dizziness. "I'm ok, I think." Jim stepped away and Lee swayed but took a few steps forward. "This isn't going to be a fun day, is it?"

Jim shook his head and took his arm. "Come on, you should eat something. I thought all days with me at your side were fun?"

Lee laughed cautiously, holding his side. "Well usually, but next time, don't invite the guys with the guns, okay?"

* * *

Blair stood against the wall, watching Jim help feed Brackett. He hit the wall behind him and hissed in pain.

"Blair?" Beth walked up and took his hand, kissing it lightly. "He doesn't love him like he loves you, Blair." Blair shrugged and lifted her into a hug. "We're staying with you, right?" Her dark eyes met his.

"I'm not going anywhere without you, Beth, I promised that."

"I know, but people make promises all the time, doesn't mean they keep them." He nodded and put her down.

"I'm not like other people."

Gerick hurried from the computer room, shouting. "It's time we left."

Blair ran to Claire and took her hand. "Come on, we've got to get out of here."

"Blair." She took his hand and halted his advances toward the cave exit. "Blair, wait. I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything, Claire, you know that." He watched her closely as she stared at the floor.

"I need you to take Elizabeth to safety, I'm staying here."

"NO, Claire, Jim will get us out, I promise. You don't know him."

* * *

Jim cringed beside Lee, holding his ears.

"Jim, what's wrong?" Brackett grabbed his arm and they made eye contact.

"I don't know, I keep hearing all this weird stuff." Jim listened for a bit then turned to Brackett. "I think my senses are coming back online. We've got to get out of here now."

"Jim, I can't be your guide, you know that. If your Sentinel abilities are coming back, you need Blair now." Their eyes met, blue to green and Lee nodded. "I'll be ok, go on."

Jim shook his head and leaned in to capture Lee's mouth in a kiss.

Lee's resistance was useless as Jim plundered his mouth, one hand tangled in his dark hair, almost painful in its forcefulness. Lee responded finally, giving Jim what he wanted. His training kicked in; no, his love was taking over. He raised a hand to Jim's face, first tracing the brow and eyes, then the cheek and jaw.

Jim pulled back suddenly. "I remember it all now, everything. All the passion, lust, lies. I remember the love, too. You couldn't fake that, I can't believe that you could fake that." A shake of Lee's head brought Jim in again, forceful, bruising the other man's lips. Brackett pushed sightly at Jim's chest.

"I never lied about how I felt. Just the circumstances that led me to you."

"Do you love me?" Jim eyes were transfixed on Lee's, questioning, demanding. Lee leaned in and kissed his lips lightly. "Do you love me?"

"Yes, Jim, I love you, I think I always have. Even before the assignment." Lee was blushing and turned away from Jim. "I don't think this is the time for this discussion, do you?"

The people of the cave were finished with their packing and heading toward a solid wall in the back. It opened as one of the men pushed a lever in the floor. The group headed through the hidden doorway out of the city sewer system, out of the city.

"Blair loves you too, I'm sure feels betrayed by our relationship right now, but once I'm gone, you two should get back on course."

"I'm not leaving you, Lee, just deal with it, okay." Jim voice was stern, but gentle.

Lee shook his head and stood up. "You'll come to hate me for separating you from Blair, I couldn't live like that."

"I won't leave without you."

"I'm not saying you were, just once we're outside, I go my own way."

Jim grabbed him by his good arm and swung him around, crushing his sore one between them.

"You're mine, Brackett, you'll not get rid of me that easily."

Lee searched Jim's eyes for anger or resentment, finding neither he sighed and embraced Jim as best he could.

"You'll leave me one day for Blair, I swear it," he whispered into Jim's ear. Jim's squeeze on his body made him wish he didn't know the truth behind the statement.

"Come on, let's get out of this place." Jim helped Brackett toward the wall near Marcus.

"Are we ready to leave?" Marcus nodded and headed toward a pipe near the front entrance. Claire and Beth joined Jim, Brackett, Rickman and Blair near the door.

"We can't take these children with us, they'll get hurt." Rickman waved a hand toward Claire and Beth.

"Then you go without us." Blair said stepping up and taking the girls' hands in his own. "We'll go with the rest of the group."

"No, Blair, you have to go with us." Jim's voice was almost pleading and Blair considered his words, but the man at Jim's side met his eyes and Blair's own hatred forced his decision.

"No, Jim, there's no place for me in your life right now. Maybe someday we can find each other again." Blair stepped close to Jim and Jim met his lips for a quick kiss. "I'll wait for you."

Lee smiled and grabbed Blair's hand. "He'll come back to you, I promise."

Jim pulled Lee closer and headed toward the exit behind Marcus.

Blair watched as the group exited through the small opening. He stared long after they had ascended the staircase. Beth tugged on his hand and he picked her up and squeezed her.

"We'll be ok, I promise."

**THE END**

* * *

End Flashes of Insight.


End file.
